Today was spent mostly trying to get things straight in my head about what I need to do to prepare for school. I know I have plenty of time (over 6 months to be exact) to prepare but I feel like if i'm not on top of things that 6 months will be over in a blink of an eye.
I was having trouble watching the orientation video because the internet connection is shaky but I finally got through it early this morning. I also did a bit of exploration in the "Campus Connect" website.
Honestly I don't know why i'm worried, i've gotten this far without the help of anyone. Sure my mom and step dad offered moral & financial support but they didn't get my GED or complete Job Corps, I did. I keep referring to Job Corps in my head because that is the first time I was on my own and completed something deemed difficult. Still...this time it's different, without money and hard work this whole venture could be for nothing. In the end I could owe money if I give up.
The only thing I can do is keep referring back to a message my brother sent to me, basically telling me that I don't exist in his life. I actually wrote a blog entry on livejournal talking about it.
On another note; my interview at Geek Squad for Parts Specialist is tomorrow. Just another thing to be nervous about. At least this worry is a little more justifiable. I'm sure i'll be fine.
I think I want to relax a bit and play some minecraft.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Wreckage Salvaged?
I have an interview Thursday with Geek Squad...but we shall see.
These past months have been the hardest in my life, and i've gone through some shit.
I have gotten jobs, lost jobs, lent money, owed money, argued, condemned and fought with people. Some of which are the closest to my heart. All of this is because I am reminded every day that living is not easy, I have (many times) thought it would be easier to just say fuck it and end it.
Alas, I am still here because I know things can change.
This perpetual slide in the abyss that is depression all began when I got a call from my boss telling me that I no longer have a job. Before you ask me what I did, it wasn't my fault. The entire shift was being laid off due to no workflow.
I loved my job, I like my co-workers...some of us were even like family; the way we looked after one another. That is the way it should be, no matter what differences you have, you should be able to trust and count on your co-workers in a factory atmosphere.
Anywho, that job paid well and I enjoyed what I was doing.
It didn't help that I had just signed the lease on an apartment hours before either; my best friend, his fiance and myself to be exact. I'm still living here but it's been hard. I floated a bit on unemployment and taxes but once that ran out I have been nothing but a financial burden on Justin & Becca.
I have gone through so many different versions of depression since then I didn't think I'd ever get out of this hole. It wasn't until I was so engulfed in hatred and self-loathing that I argued with Justin and everything just came out. That night I cried wishing for something to be laid in my lap that would make things easier but I knew it wouldn't.
A few days later I get an e-mail telling me that I had been accepted to Ivy Tech Community College in Sellersburg, Indiana. That made me a bit happier; knowing I at least had the opportunity to do something with my life instead of being a burden to everyone. 6 months we've lived here and this is the first good thing that has happened to me.
Which brings us to today, the day I get a call back from an application I put in. My friend Joe works for Geek Squad and he informed me that they have some positions open at this location. I applied for the position this afternoon and got a call back within a few hours (I was surprised too) with the lady scheduling an interview for Thursday.
These past months have been the hardest in my life, and i've gone through some shit.
I have gotten jobs, lost jobs, lent money, owed money, argued, condemned and fought with people. Some of which are the closest to my heart. All of this is because I am reminded every day that living is not easy, I have (many times) thought it would be easier to just say fuck it and end it.
Alas, I am still here because I know things can change.
This perpetual slide in the abyss that is depression all began when I got a call from my boss telling me that I no longer have a job. Before you ask me what I did, it wasn't my fault. The entire shift was being laid off due to no workflow.
I loved my job, I like my co-workers...some of us were even like family; the way we looked after one another. That is the way it should be, no matter what differences you have, you should be able to trust and count on your co-workers in a factory atmosphere.
Anywho, that job paid well and I enjoyed what I was doing.
It didn't help that I had just signed the lease on an apartment hours before either; my best friend, his fiance and myself to be exact. I'm still living here but it's been hard. I floated a bit on unemployment and taxes but once that ran out I have been nothing but a financial burden on Justin & Becca.
I have gone through so many different versions of depression since then I didn't think I'd ever get out of this hole. It wasn't until I was so engulfed in hatred and self-loathing that I argued with Justin and everything just came out. That night I cried wishing for something to be laid in my lap that would make things easier but I knew it wouldn't.
A few days later I get an e-mail telling me that I had been accepted to Ivy Tech Community College in Sellersburg, Indiana. That made me a bit happier; knowing I at least had the opportunity to do something with my life instead of being a burden to everyone. 6 months we've lived here and this is the first good thing that has happened to me.
Which brings us to today, the day I get a call back from an application I put in. My friend Joe works for Geek Squad and he informed me that they have some positions open at this location. I applied for the position this afternoon and got a call back within a few hours (I was surprised too) with the lady scheduling an interview for Thursday.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)